Even the most perfect *Instagram moms* have tough mom days. I have found so much comfort in #realmotherhood posts because they tend to shed a light on parts of motherhood that aren’t often shared.

Every season of motherhood has its’ beautiful and challenging moments. Guiding my littles through big feelings, unjust situations, and messy moments has really forced me to look at myself more than anything else. The feelings that arise in these situations can feel overpowering and definitely overwhelming. They can leave you questioning whether you handled the situation the “right” way or if you totally messed up.

I’ve been there so many times that I knew I needed a small reminder – a mindset shift – that quickly snapped me back to where my focus should be and how to approach the moments that challenge me most as a mother.

Children are not giving us a hard time. They’re having a hard time.

Oof. That phrase has changed everything for me.

If you’re new around here, I’m a mom to a 3 1/2 year old and a two-year-old. While my little humans are learning at a rapid pace, they’re still not developmentally able to fully communicate their needs and wants without a meltdown at times. When their emotions take over, I often have to remind myself these moments and big feelings are out of their control. It’s not necessarily my job to stop challenging feelings, but rather help them cope, help them understand them, and help them better express what they’re feeling and why.

How I react to their big feelings lets them know whether all their feelings are welcomed and embraced. It’s become clear to me how necessary it is for me to hold space with them while they’re upset as much as when they’re happy. Letting them know I love them, I’m here for them, and I’m not going anywhere when they’re feeling their worst helps my children feel loved during their toughest days.

My hope is for them to be able to self-regulate themselves when I’m not around. And for that, I have to keep my little reminder at the forefront of my mind. Don’t get me wrong, this is tough. But I know I’m a better mom for it and my children – hopefully – feel less alone in their meltdowns and big, big feelings.

Share a phrase or mindset shift you often rely on to get you through tough mom days. I think we could all benefit from hearing different perspectives and approaches.

Until my next post.